The NBA Draft…Ugh, What?!

Ok guys, the NBA Draft is tomorrow. (Pause here, awkward silence there).

Exactly. The problem with our pausing and not knowing when, or even what the NBA Draft is, is that our guys know this stuff. They know all of it. They know who their teams need to draft in order to entertain the possibility of having a better season than the last, or who they need to draft in order to keep up their winning ways. They also probably talk about it all. the.time.

Now, I don’t think its necessary to know every single thing, maybe just Google search “NBA Draft+(insert team name here)” to get a few names/a little background so you’re not completely lost on what your guy will be looking for come tomorrow night. I certainly am not going to go through every team and what they need/who they’re likely to pick, but, we can talk about a few big names on the NBA Draft board, names your guy will be dropping no matter who his favorite team might be.

Now, the top pick in the draft has all but come down to these 3 players: Jabari Parker, Joel Embiid, and Andrew Wiggins. Well it had initially come down to them, then Embiid had to go and get a stress fracture in his foot, which required surgery, which could quite possibly turn everything on its head. Before the injury, it was widely believed that Embiid would be taken first by the Cleveland Cavaliers, Parker would go second to the Milwaukee Bucks, and Wiggins would go third to the Philadelphia 76ers. Now, it appears that Embiid could lose that top spot and Parker and Wiggins would both move up a spot to go both #1 and #2.

The top spot doesn’t mean all that much really when you think about it. Apart from bragging rights, it doesn’t come with any sort of guarantee of how good a player will be. Michael Jordan for example, was the #3 pick during his draft, and he’s considered by pretty much everyone ever to be the greatest of all time. It’s certainly a cool thing to be drafted #1, or even drafted at all. But when it comes right down to it, its not the most important.

Now, back to the Top 3. A little more about each:

Embiid is the tallest of all 3 of the players, and he hails from Cameroon. He played his 1 year of college basketball at Kansas, as did Wiggins. The surgery he just underwent a few days ago comes with a 6 month recovery process. Ouch, to both the injury and his recovery time. Can’t say for certain but would guess he’s got the biggest shoe size out of all 3 of the guys, although when you get all your shoes for free (pure stipulation there), that really doesn’t matter. One last thing to know about the guy, you pronounce his last name EM-BEED, like a bead on a charm bracelet, or better yet M-BEEEEEEEEEEEEEED

Parker is the guy you’ll know by his hair, it looks like straight up Will Smith a la Fresh Prince of Bellair. Parker hails from Chicago, interestingly enough the only U.S. born player in the “Top 3.” Parker was once hailed as the LeBron James of his age, and played his one season of college basketball at Duke University, under the watchful eye of one of the best college coaches of all time, Coach K. Parker’s no slouch in the height category at 6″8. He’s also probably got the best smile out of the 3, at least in my eyes. Feel free to tell me to shove it on that note.

Wiggins is the Canadian born player in the bunch, and no, you’re not alone for that split second when you have to ask yourself if people from Canada actually play basketball. All we’re saying is that a basketball and a frozen ice patch just don’t seem to be a good idea. Wiggins played alongside Embiid for one year at Kansas, before taking off to, we’ll say less greener pastures because he was in Kansas after all, for the NBA. Wiggins is tied with Parker in the height category, but he also has some mad up skills, evidenced in this almost too crazy to believe picture. We know, its cray.



Ok here’s some additional rankings:

In terms of the NBA players they’ll be, we’re going to go Parker, Embiid (when he’s healthy), Wiggins

Freakish athletic skills: Wiggins, and the other 2 don’t really matter. Again, look above

Hotness Factor: We’re gonna go Parker (whose a little more cute but still), Embiid for his smolderness, and Wiggins has to round out this category, too too babyface looking for us. Also, we’re pretty partial to hockey players when it comes to attractiveness of Canadian athletes.


Hope this helps you get through the draft…or at least the first half hour of it.




2 thoughts on “The NBA Draft…Ugh, What?!

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