Survive the NHL Playoffs, the Most Scream-Inducing Time of Sports


There is a reason that the NHL playoffs are called the best postseason in sports. Well, at least reasons that I call them the best postseason in existence and come on, when have I ever steered you wrong before (literal wink wink)?

The NHL playoffs are a month and half long parade of games that are literally non.stop.drama. It’s like a bride a month before her wedding or the overzealous student a month before it’s time for class president elections. It just never stops, and every single little thing could mean the difference between moving on and an early exit, sort of a like a wrong look to the most-popular girl in school or getting caught behind the bleachers with the leader of the Math club.

A quick overview of how the NHL playoffs work: Eight teams from each of the leagues two conferences make the playoffs, and unlike the NFL, no team gets a bye round. If you want the cup, you’re going to have to work for it. The team ranked #1 plays the team ranked #8, #2 plays #7 and so forth. Series go on until each conference has 1 team remaining. Those two embark on a 7-game series until one team comes out a champion. Games work as 7-game series. The first to 4 wins moves on. Unless it’s the last series, that team gets their names etched in stone on the allusive Stanley Cup.

Now, you may not watch hockey, it may be your least favorite sport out there. But! (I feel that that exclamation is important to get my tone across here) I would be willing to bet that if you watch a Game 7 or other elimination game, or any playoff game for that matter, especially a game that happens to go into overtime, you’ll be hooked. If not, we may need to get you to a doctor to see what on earth is wrong with you (kidding..sort of).

So if you get hooked, and probably even more importantly if you don’t, you’re going to have to know how to survive, am I right?

First things first, and you may want to sit down for this. Things are going to get hectic, accept that now and the next weeks of your life will be so much easier. Granted, it’ll get a little less hectic if your guy’s team isn’t playing, or if his team loses early on, but nonetheless, you’re in for a lot of long nights the next several weeks. So stock up on your favorite snack foods and magazines (which you’ll read sparingly, right?), you’re going to need some backup.

That’s point 1. Point 2 is something that I think needs to be prefaced by saying that I hate to say this, mainly because I love to talk and gab more than most other things. Sometimes, or many times when it comes to playoff hockey games, all you can do to support your guy is to be quiet. Now, I know that may seem a bit drastic but it is the best thing for you. You know how during the Bachelor season finale you always hold your breath to see who is going to get out of the car first, because that person is going home? That is what many a playoff hockey game feels like. Things change at the slap of a wrist and with the Stanley Cup on the line, those things become exponentially more important. Even more so if a game goes into overtime, when the game can and will be decided at the drop of a hat, your guy will be on edge, or at least on the edge of his seat/barstool/bean bag, etc. Sometimes, all you can do is sit there and hold your breath right along with him. And maybe keep your arms out in case he falls.

One key to your survival? Knowing when to take a break. Your guy may give you a reprieve at some point, take it. There are a lot of playoff games so if your guy wants to have a guy’s night, a.k.a. you get an out, take it. Obviously don’t appear too overjoyed, that could lead to your man thinking you don’t want to actually share in things he likes. At least wait until your with your ladies, or relaxing at the nail salon, to celebrate the tiny win.

On that same note, this is your guy’s Mercedes Benz New York fashion week, it just may turn out to last a little bit longer. He stuck with you while you hounded Twitter and Instagram, so I think you can hang with him while he goes through the playoffs. And just think, if his team wins, you’ll probably get a new pajama shirt out of it.