How To Survive A Maja Event In America, Major League Baseball’s Opening Day

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Some will argue that football is becoming, if it hasn’t already, “America’s game,” and that the Dallas Cowboys are America’s team. For one thing, there’s a good chance the people arguing those points two thoughts will find themselves being vocally reprimanded, at least by the latter point. The whole football being America’s game idea is slowly becoming more accurate. But the whole point I’m segwaying here to is that baseball will always be considered America’s past time.

Today, Sunday, March 30th, marks the Opening Day for the brand new season here in the United States, and in Canada where one major league team plays. Two major league teams, the Los Angeles Dodgers and the Arizona Diamondbacks, already got their season started last week down in Australia. The Dodgers won both of those games, and currently have the best record in all of baseball (winky face).

Ok so at this point, we’ve amassed that you’re going to Opening Day with your guy. Breathe deep, we’ll get through this together. Now it may not seem like it to you, but going to Opening Day is a pretty big deal. It’s like going bathing suit shopping for the very first time that year. There is so much hope and promise in that one day and sure there’s good chance that you’ll be disappointed, if not now, sometime down the road, but it’s that initial sense of hope that keeps you coming back and trying more on. (More on the coming back part later.) Opening Day is when everyone forgets what happened last year or the year before, or how the big-money center-fielder was busted for a DUI during the offseason. It’s this event that makes people feel like anything is possible.  Go to a game in a few months at the same stadium, you”ll find yourself engulfed by an entirely different atmosphere.

Now the important part, how on earth do you survive?

First off, outfit yourself appropriately. And by that, we mean go get yourself some new baseball duds, or even better yet, convince your guy to get them for you. Because if you’re going to sit through a 3-hour game plus Opening Day Festivities, you should least get some new clothes out of the deal right? Bonus points for your guy if he gets you something from the Victorias’ Secret MLB attire line, because nothing says baseball like a sequined ball cap. Which I’ll admit I wasn’t a fan of before, but now, I feel like I just have.to.have.one. Also, not the best idea to break out your new summer wedges or your favorite black pumps. Please, just don’t.

Take a minute and think about your guy as a little kid, going to baseball games with his dad or grandpa, and picture him smiling like he doesn’t have a care in the world. Those are the same emotions he’s going through now, except you’re by his side instead, and he probably didn’t spill the mini-baseball helmet filled with ice cream all over his face. (Grab some extra napkins just in case.) Relish in the fact that he chose to share this day, a very important one in his year, with you, and by all means, soak that up for all its worth.

Please please please try to keep the complaining to an extreme minimum. You most likely don’t want to be there, I get it, and I feel you. But the fact of the matter is that you are there, so if you’ve got the urge to complain, do it inside your head. And while you’re there, make sure to “be there.” Sure, complain inside your head if you need to, but don’t completely doze off or not be paying attention the entire time. Grab a scorecard and have your guy teach you how to keep track, or even a program, reading that will definitely kill some time for ya. Try not to go in expecting the worst, there’s a good chance you’re going to have a wonderful time and want to go back. Think about it this way: the more games you see, the more times you get to wear a baseball hat, which means the more braided hairstyles you get to try out. #boomnailedit

Some other logistics: Hold your guy’s hand, there’ll be a crap ton of people and things going on, don’t get lost. Bring your ID, you’ll probably need a few beers to get you through the day. Wear sunscreen, that is if you’re in a place where there actually is some semblance of sun. Nothing is worse than not enjoying yourself somewhere (not saying this will be you) and then being painfully reminded of it every time you move a muscle or try to breathe.

Are you looking forward to Opening Day? I sure am!

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