So you finally bite the bullet and decide that you are going to accompany your guy to one of his team’s football games. First off, yay! Go you! And one more, not to sound too cliche but, you go girl.
Now, the dreadful part of this blog post, because you know that’s theres no way I wrote a single sentence post to tell you how awesome you are (maybe one week that’ll happen when a massive case of writer’s block hits). I promise though, after we rip this band-aid off, it will get better. If you haven’t heard any breaking news that came out of the NFL the past few days, yet you may want to sit down … women can no longer bring their purses into NFL stadiums (I’ll give you this time now until the next paragraph to hyperventilate and get your screams off your chest)
So the NFL decided that it was going to beef up security measures and pass a new bag policy that says that in 2013 and beyond, bags brought into the stadium have to be made of clear plastic, vinyl, or PVC materials. Good thing see-through bags are coming back in style am I right? I mean I’ve certainly always wanted one since I saw a see-through backpack on Lizzie McGuire. I’ve had the inflatable clear furniture, never went as far as a backpack though. Alas, nows our chance! Also, another thing in regards to the bag policy, these hip clear bags cannot exceed a size of 12″ x 6″ x 12.” And better yet, any logo on the bag must not exceed a size of 4.6″ tall x 3.4 ” wide.
But hey now don’t you worry, you can buy your very own NFL team logo clear plastic tote bags at http://www.nflshop.com/allclear. Okay to me, that just sounds like maybe some type of face wash you can buy, sponsored by the NFL, to use during half-time to clean your pores. Also, this whole buy a clear bag, or tote, or drawstring with your team’s logo just further shows why the NFL makes so much dang money. Now you can buy any of these officially licensed materials, or you use a one-gallon clear plastic freezer bag. First allowed by the TSA and now the NFL. Welp, at least traveling to out of town games got a whole lot easier. And no need to waste those precious Ziplockies.
Your precious clutch can still be brought in, as long as they are the size of your hand (maybe have your guy carry yours if you’re the large clutch type?). These can have a handle or not have one, your choice, but they still must be brought in with a clear plastic bag. So you can bring in two bags if you really wanted to, everyone just sets to see everything you are carrying around. Let’s hope this game you so willingly are going to doesn’t correspond with your time of the month and you actually remember to bring your equipmentt. (I’d hate to be your guy then … I love football games but I’d hate to be my guy. Ain’t no one need to know my buziness.)
Your hindquarters just got a whole lot stiffer too, as the NFL said bye-bye to seat cushions. Tourist dads everywhere groaned when fanny packs were outlawed and no more coming from class or the airport, as backpacks, luggage, and computer bags were told hasta la vista too.
This could actually be a good thing from a good purse standpoint because, and this isn’t to keep you from going, stadium floors can get nassstttyy. It’s not so much peanut shells on the ground like at baseball games (guilty on that one) but there is beer stickiness and a bunch of other stickiness you don’t even want to know what it is exactly.
The most important piece to this puzzle though is that us women carry a bunch of crap around in our purses. Lipsticks? Check. Three Packs of Gum? Check. Your phone, phone charger, possibly an iPad? Check check and possibly another check. So what are we to do? The only thing we really can do is suck it up and abide by the rules. If you’re still feeling a little animosity towards the NFL though, I say we get one of those handy clear tote bags with the logo of your choice and stuff it chock full of all the contents of every other purse you own. That’ll show ’em. And with all the change you’ll collect when condensing, you’ll be able to treat yourself to a nice, crisp beer and sit back and maybe even enjoy the game knowing you just stuck it to one of the most profitable businesses in the world.
What do you think about this new rule? Let us know!